Ladies, are you struggling to get your man to commit to marrying you? Feeling frustrated? Well, author Scarlet Hall suggest 50 things you can do to make your man want to marry you.
Here are Scarlett’s tips below that she says are the ultimate guide to understanding and getting a man to commit:
#1. Do what he asks you to do, without question – If a man asks you for a favor, and you question him and say “why”…he will instantly feel like you just don’t want to do it. If you have to ask him why, it sounds like you need him to CONVINCE you to do it.If he has to convince you to do things, do you really understand him?
#2. Maintain yourself – Men are visual, which means if you let yourself go, he will lose interest. He doesn’t want to commit to a woman who is only going to get worse. Maintain yourself physically and health wise, to prove you are willing to be the best you can be for him.
#3. Trust him – Don’t be scared that he’s going to run off with some other woman, or that he’s lying to you about everything. Don’t think that he’s really untrustworthy and nag him about your own insecurities. Show him that you trust him and give him the benefit of the doubt FIRST, before you assume anything or blame him for something.
#4. Regularly give him space – Every guy wants time alone. We all need our personal space, and it’s better if you can give that to him without him having to ask for it or beg you. Do it naturally, and he will appreciate you and think you are marriage material.
#5. Be there for him, even if he says nothing about the problem – Show you are supportive of him, by BEING there; WITHOUT questioning him on the problem. Let him open up if he wants to, but if he doesn’t show him you are really there for him by being behind him regardless of whether or not he opens up to you.
#6. Be financially dependent – It can help a man to know that you aren’t going to take every last penny he has.Some men fear marriage, because they are afraid of losing all of their money (in a divorce, or even just because of a wife’s spending). Thus, you can show him that you aren’t after his money by becoming financially dependent.
#7. Compliment him – After we know someone for a while, we start to lose the “flattery”.We stop trying to impress our partners, because now we have them, and we compliment them less. Every guy wants to feel like he is great, desired, helpful, amazing etc… Let him know that you STILL believe this, and show him that you will be a positive partner for the long run by complimenting him.
#8. Learn his insecurities – It’s not something people walk around talking about, but sometimes a man hints that he is insecure about something, so that you can avoid the topic or avoid hurting him in the future.When you know his insecurities, you know exactly what it is that you should NOT do, in order to keep him COMFORTABLE.
#9. Don’t act out toward your man – If he says something that hurts your feelings, or if he does something you disagree with…most women’s first reactions would be to become dramatic and emotional and nag the guy. Don’t do this…because it tells him that you are a nightmare to marry, because instead of remaining calm and allowing him some room to improve, you are just lashing out at him.
#10. Accept responsibility in a fight – Every relationship has its moments where they are disagreements and fights.The difference between a healthy relationship that encourages a man to marry you, and an unhealthy marriage that pushes a man away is this: blame or responsibility. Don’t be the partner who blames him for everything…instead be the partner who accepts responsibility and blame for the issue.
#11. Learn to take a joke…even if its personal – Men want a woman who is ABLE to laugh at herself, because if you don’t…you’ll always feel insecure, hurt, and upset when people joke about you, or when your man tries to tell you something he thinks is funny about you. He doesn’t want to have to feel sorry for thinking something was funny…because no one can really control the things that make us laugh in the first place.
#12. Learn to take criticism – Men criticize to see improvement, and they do it in order to try to help you see things in a different light.They also criticize to try and show you a solution or a better way to do something, if they see you are struggling. This is why you should learn how to take criticism, because if you freak out every time he criticizes you, you tell him that you won’t be able to improve in the future.
#13. Be serious where it’s necessary – There’s nothing more discouraging, or annoying to a man, than a woman who does not take SERIOUS issues seriously.A serious issue is something that he considers to be important, and if you can’t take it seriously, he thinks that you don’t take HIM or yourself seriously.
#14. Keep your promises – A man views it like this: if you can’t even keep a simple promise, how will you keep and uphold the promise of marriage to him? This is why it’s important to uphold the promises you have now.
#15. Don’t use excuses – Excuses are the purest lies, because instead of being honest or accepting failure, you make excuses instead.To a man, this is like saying: “I don’t want to be open and upfront with you, and instead will beat around the bush and try to fool you”. A woman who is marriage material wouldn’t need to do this.
#16. Be COMFORTABLE around him – He wants to grab your love handles, and suddenly you are pulling away, asking him if he thinks you’re fat.You also become insecure when he wants to make love to you. Or you just struggle to open up to him. All of these things tell him that you are not comfortable around him, make him feel insecure, and make him QUESTION the point of marrying you.
#17. Show love with ACTION – Sure, you said you love him; but words only get you so far. He wants to see you SHOWING it with your actions. Thus, if you know something irritates him…don’t do it. If you know he needs you to do something, follow through with it. Prove that you love him by doing the things that you know he would appreciate.
#18. Don’t be afraid to draw the lines – If you can’t draw the lines with him…who else will you draw them with then? A woman, who doesn’t clearly define her boundaries, is a woman who may let other men do whatever they want to her. To a man, that’s not “wife” material…because in the future, he doesn’t want to have to worry about you being unable to draw the lines with other men either.
#19. Show appreciation – A man doesn’t do things for you for free…he does it to get a result. The result is to see you happy, to impress you, and to make you AND himself feel good. BUT, if you never say “thank-you”, and if you never show him that you appreciate him, and the things he does…he will think it’s pointless to marry you.
#20. Encourage him to succeed daily – Why wait to tell him he can succeed or do well, until there’s a huge problem he has to confront?Encourage him DAILY, where you support him and tell him to be the best he can, and encourage him to complete his projects the best he can etc… Be there for the big AND small things…because daily life is a struggle too, and daily life is stressful too.
#21. Take his problem solving advice – You talk to him about your problems, and suddenly he is telling you what to do and what not to do…in order to help you solve it. You may only want to be heard, and don’t want him to solve your problems…but once in a while take his advice to show him that his input is appreciated and valid, because usually it is. (If you don’t take his advice, he will feel like you only want to be in problems always.)
#22. Be calm when he is stressed – When a man is stressed it can be a HUGE problem, because he acts out of character, is unpredictable, may lash out at you, and may withdraw.BUT, instead of blaming him and arguing, just be calm and let the storm pass. He needs to know that you UNDERSTAND him in that area, and doesn’t need a woman who makes it all about “herself” when he has something stressful going on.
#23. Use the things he gives you – If he gives you a gift, some advice, a tool etc…whatever it is that he gives you, he is doing so because he thinks you’ll like it, it will help you, or that it could improve your life. Letting them sit to collect dust tells him that you really don’t care about his input or the things he has to offer.
#24. Do FOR him before you ask OF him– Men don’t mind giving everything to the woman they love, BUT if he always feels like you are taking, taking, and taking some more…and aren’t giving anything, he will start to feel discouraged. This is why you should always DO things for him, before you ask him to do things for you…so that he will feel 100% thrilled to do whatever it is you are asking, even if you are asking him to marry you.
#25. Disagree without disappointment – There will be differences, BUT the main issue is how you HANDLE the differences between each other.If you handle disagreements by arguing and becoming disappointed when you don’t take his side, you are showing him that you are emotionally immature. But, if you disagree without feeling disappointed, you show him that you can respect his opinion, even if you don’t think its right for you.